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Welcome To The Law Offices of Mammon & Moloch

terms disclaimer documents our team complaints

About Our Office

The Law Offices of Mammon and Moloch are a team of black magic rats (Shemon Ben Moloch Esq. & Baal "Mammon" Bin Yosef Esq. - no relation to the deity Mammon) specializing in weighing matters of the heart. Mammon and Moloch oversee an exclusive team of lawyers, each outfitted with their own area of expertise. We are here to meet your very unique legal needs. Mammon and Moloch are proud supporters of the Digital Cremation Grounds and charitable donors to both the the Northern California Society of Rat Consciousness as well as the Sri Daniel Baba Ram temple.

Our offices only support premium clients. The Law Offices of Mammon and Moloch believe that not every client is worthy. Only the clients who show a true understanding of what they are petitioning for will receive powerful results. Every client who approaches our law office will go through a screening process whereby his heart will be weighed by our Spiritual Assessment Advisor™. Working with our in-house Spiritual Assessment Advisor™ Mammon and Moloch will determine whether they will help or hinder your case and will assign you a lawyer accordingly.

Terms & Conditions

Should you fail the authenticity test, you will NOT be notified and you WILL be damned to eternal suffering and hell until you introspect and understand your own psycho-spiritual motivations for approaching The Law Offices of Mammon and Moloch. Should your heart be weighed in favor of your petition, you will be granted an instant paradigmal shift and immediately be provided the results you ask!



A Note From Rabbi Dahmer Vision

Before you even CONSIDER contacting one of our seven lawyers, please thoroughly research all of the links listed below in our "read first" section. If you don’t do this, we will know, our office is loaded with security cameras. If you choose not to read the required content below, you are CONSENTING to having your life ruined and soul captured by one of our many law partners.

JK! (unless?)... but, seriously, the information on this page is CRUCIAL if you want to get closer to understanding that absolute labyrinth that is DAHMER VISION LORE (the dahmerverse)! The content on this page is accumulated from several years of practicing Jewish Abrahamic black magic and satanism. Do not perform any of the rituals you find here unless you are really serious about working with the lawyers, blowing up your throat-chakra and making a pact with the devil.

and yes, I am a real rabbi.


READ FIRST:
important documents! have you accepted our terms and conditions?

The Death of The Artist & The A.I. Golem
an essay about the role of artificial intelligence in abrahamic prophecy.


DV?'s guide to the TREE OF LIFE


have you ever wondered what it's like to experience self-induced jewish schizophrenia? Do you want to know the secrets of the KNOWN UNIVERSE? Take a look at Rabbi Dahmer Vision's personal KOSHER grimoire.

Live! From The Mauve Zone! (The lost episode)

this was a short-lived animated series exploring the secrets of esoteric meme-culture and an attempt to become the mainstream media through subtle manipulation of the goyim on youtube.com!


Our Team

Click the sigil above to enter the ZONE and learn MORE aout our infernal law partners.

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